What's For Dinner?

Mom: Did you buy cigarettes today?

Dad: No.

Mom: What are we going to have for dinner then?

Dad: That makes no sense.

Me: apparently Mom was planning on serving cigarettes for dinner tonight...

A Message From Dad to Mom

"Dear Eula,

Eat Shit..."



Love,
Steve"

Not the Land of Opportunity.

America may have been the land of opportunity at one time, but times have changed. Read this.

"A Common Occurrence"

Apparently the auxiliary engine failing to start is a common occurrence for airplanes... or so my pilot wanted us to believe. I think he's a moron.

How Stupid is Too Stupid?

Today, after spending yesterday at Grandma's before making my flight to Florida, I need to ask the question, how stupid is too stupid? The answer is a resounding, I don't know. But, I do know this, my cousin Jennifer tops the cake. For example, yesterday upon seeing me she proceded to say, "oh my god, Christopher, are you bald?!" Clearly I am bald (by choice). The next question she boldly asked was, "how did you get bald?!" My first reaction was to get a splitting headache and ask myself, how am I related to this dumbshit. Quickly I shot back, "upon entering your door I became scared, turned white, and my hair fell out." She might believe that, it wouldn't surprise me anyways.

Asian Kid Day

Today will forever be known as Asian Kid Day, one of the few days not created by Hallmark. This day will be dedicated to those awesome Asian kids who, day after day, create the things I love... Things like my Sony tv and my shoes that somehow don't fall apart as quickly as the American ones, and some computers. Is there anything an Asian kid can't do??? I think not.

A Good Day

You definitely know it's going to be a good day when you look outside at noon, it's black outside, and you turn on the tv to a five minute "Beep Beep Beep Beep..." It's a great day to finish my final exams!

Tim Thomas VS Alf...